So... again... getting into it I am going to update yall AGAIN because I am stupid
Recap
So the most pressing piece of information that I must share is that Alex and I broke up a little over a month ago. Since this is a pretty big thing I would like to spend some time reflecting and discussing. Alex does know that I keep a blog so this may be a little unfortunate for him if he finds this post.
First, why it happened:
So, in short, I really didn't see a future in which I'd be happy. Everyone at the wedding was saying that we would be next to get married and that was a little frightening. So I did some reflecting. Alex really didn't care about me or my feelings, which was evident in the fact that he never spent any time with me when I was LIVING WITH HIM. Generally, I was just sad all the time and I leaned on him for it when he was causing it.
How I feel about it happening:
At first, I was not even sad. Sure I cried, but I also felt this huge sense of relief. I was proud of myself for getting out of that situation and understanding that I deserved better. I also felt just pure happiness and freedom. I finally felt like myself again. And that was so sad to me because I really had felt like I lost myself over the last three years and that should not happen when you're with someone. Now, after some time has passed, I do feel a bit sad because I realize that I did love him but I will never get back together with him because nobody deserves being treated like I was treated for three years.
The aftermath:
Directly after we had broken up, my brother called me. I talked to him about it for an hour and it was really nice. After I was done crying and stuff I went out and talked to the roomies and they made it so clear that I made the right decision. Alex and I met up a few times afterwards to exchange things and he kept trying to ask me to tell him how to win me back... which I refused. He decided to tell me he's back on tinder but I haven't come across his profile yet. Anyways, I'm still very surprised at how okay I am about this... and Michaela says that it's because I mourned the relationship when he was ignoring me.
So this was a lot.
No pictures for this one either just thoughts. No terribly deep reflections here but Sophia must be updated. Next episode will be about the hoes so get fuckin ready
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